


Double Helix Inseam

by karanguni



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-15
Updated: 2014-05-15
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karanguni/pseuds/karanguni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Tseng let me know you were coming,' Veld replied. 'So I was ready for the wait. Come in; you might as well say hello to Madam while you're here.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Helix Inseam

**Author's Note:**

> For crimson-sun, who wanted Hojo out of his element while Veld was in his.

'He's not here,' Hojo was informed by a carefully blank-faced Turk. 'And I'm afraid I don't have access to that section of the evidence storehouse.'  


He was young, had black hair and sharp features — Wutain, in all likelihood — so Hojo spared a moment to think about it and came up with a name. 'Tseng, is it?' he asked. 

The young Turk — Tseng — nodded. What an interesting specimen; nothing that SOLDIER would ever have given a second glance, but Hojo'd heard rumours about how Veld'd been looking for a successor of sorts. Of course the man'd chosen an outsider for the job. 'Well then,' Hojo said. 'That's quite problematic, seeing as I can't get any analysis done without the samples that your department so faithfully brings back from the field.' 

'Exhumations are a speciality of ours,' the boy said agreeably. 

Hojo laughed; a deep, throaty laugh. 'I see why Veld likes you - you've got backbone. So I'm wagering that you won't let me into that evidence room no matter how much I posture.' He gave Tseng a look. More than one research assistant had quit Shinra after receiving a look like that. 

'It's against company policy,' Tseng said, still wonderfully blank-faced and unfailingly polite. 'I wouldn't dare to assume that you'd want to violate procedure.' 

'Would I dare, in the presence of Administrative Research?' Hojo asked. 'You Turks are our custodians and our auditors, after all.' Hojo waved a hand back and forth. 'No, no, just tell me where he is and I'll go get him myself.' 

'I could just call the Director back to the Tower.' 

'No need,' Hojo shook his head. 'I've got things to say to him that I don't need surveillance cameras recording.' He smiled. 'Tell me where he is.' 

Tseng hesitated for a moment, but then apparently thought better than saying no to the head of Science twice in a row. He took his PHS out, and a moment later Hojo's own PHS beeped. 'I've sent you an address,' Tseng said to him. 'But…' 

Hojo raised an eyebrow. 'You think I can't read a map, boy?'  


Tseng straightened to attention. 'Wouldn't dream of insinuating that, Professor.' 

—— 

'Is this a safehouse of some sort?' Hojo asked Veld, two hours and four detours through Sector 7 later. 'Because it was impossible to find.' The professor pushed his way into the little shophouse. It was tucked away in a quiet, tidy street in the middle of what felt like nowhere. 

'Tseng let me know you were coming,' Veld replied. 'So I was ready for the wait. Come in; you might as well say hello to Madam while you're here.' 

Hojo looked around. There were rolls of fabric everywhere in every texture and colour imaginable; perhaps this place was a wholesale operation. The air was thick and felt close. A small, impeccably dressed old woman nodded to him from where she was placing down three bolts of black cloth that looked identical to Hojo's eyes.  


'Your lab coat,' she said to Hojo. 'How horribly it sits on your shoulders, doctor.' 

Hojo blinked. 'This is a tailor?' 

'The best tailor in Midgar,' Veld confirmed.  


'Flattery won't get you any discounts,' Madam chided him. 'Now take a look at these three, and let me know what you think.' 

'Now I really _must_ ask if this is a safehouse of some sort,' Hojo said. 'I didn't know that you had the kind of spare time to get your cuffs hemmed.' 

'How do you think my cuffs came to be so perfect in the first place?' Veld reposited. 'My good professor, you don't think that I dress my Turks in off-the-rack white-collar uniforms, do you?' 

Hojo thought about this for a moment. 'I suppose you don't,' he said, finally. 'This explains much about Administrative Research's budget.'  


'It's perilously hard to find a blazer that you can both wear well over a holster _and_ run in,' Veld deadpanned. 

'Here,' the madam interrupted them before Hojo could come up with a response. She bustled up next to him and put a block on the floor. She barely reached Hojo's shoulders, but she hopped onto the block and had a measuring tape up against his shoulders before he'd the time to object. 'Stand still.' 

Hojo meant to push her away, but he caught the look in Veld's eye — amused, observant — and decided, wilfully, to let the tailor do what she wanted. He was abruptly aware of exactly how precise the cut of Veld's suit was; also that his had buttons while the young man's at Headquarters had had a simple zipper. 

'These mass-produced coats,' Hojo heard the woman mutter. 'You'd think that they'd know better. Your sleeves are too long! What if they dip into some chemical, or catch fire?' 

'I roll up the sleeves,' Hojo said.  


'Impractical!' she snapped. 'Also, the _audacity_ of just _cutting a hole_ where pockets should be so that you end up with, what, a shortcut to your pants pockets?' 

'I believe that is the general idea,' Hojo told her. 

'Sloppy,' the madam shook her head, then she jumped off the block. 'I'm done. I'll send a few altered ones up with the next Shinra shipment, and you'll see. This one's on the house.' 

'The next ones won't be,' Veld warned Hojo. 

'I'm not sure I'm in need of a bespoke lab coat,' Hojo told him. 

'You will be,' the madam assured him. 'So?' she asked, turning onto Veld.  


'The [wool and mohair](http://www.mrporter.com/product/407462) for the formal uniform,' Veld told her. 'We'll try this new-fangled [neoprene](http://www.mrporter.com/product/410413) for the more… running around ones. I'll send you the measurements.' 

'You should just send me your men,' she grumbled. 

'Now that would be a security problem,' Veld smiled at her, then turned to Hojo. 'Shall we, professor? I sense this isn't quite your domain.' 

'Come into the labs sometime,' Hojo offered as they slipped out together into the shadows of the sector. 

'I wonder,' Veld mused, 'what you tailor to specification there?' 


End file.
